Sleep deprived

Dang it! I have been awake since 5:00 this morning. I stayed up until after 1:00 am packing and getting ready and thought, "Oooh...I get to sleep in tomorrow." Nope. I should have known better. I've been awake thinking about things like...what shirt should I wear today...did I pack enough pants...where's my hair brush...really important things, ya know?
The last several days have been a flurry of activity and emotion. I have had to do a successive series of goodbyes...it has been challenging and I realized that I am not very good at goodbyes.
I have seen such a outpouring of love for us, though, through people bringing us meals, giving us clothes and gifts, holding on to our junk, being willing to mow our lawn and watch our house, being our power of attorney, giving us money, praying for us, and helping us with all the details. Thank you, all, we would not have this opportunity without you.
Over the last several weeks, I have been trying to imagine what living in a new country will be like and preparing myself for the worst of each situation. I can't tell if this is a healthy exercise or just torture, because it really started to stress me out and cause a few mini-breakdowns. When I told a friend in front of Ben that I had had a mini-breakdown recently, Ben cocked a brow and said, "Mini?!?!?" After a short pause I said, "Yes, in my line of work anything short of psychiatric hospitalization is mini." However, my construed rationale is that if I prepare myself for the worst, then surely things will be better than I expect. We'll see if it works.
I do have to say that packing has gone a lot better than I had anticipated. I typically am what one may call an "overpacker." This has always been one of my downfalls and I worried that I would not have enough space to pack all that I wanted. However, I have to brag a little because I packed everything for 5 months in Africa in 1 suitcase and a carry-on. It even weighed right at 50 lbs. I know, I couldn't believe it either. (I wouldn't say that I rubbed it in when's Ben's suitcase was 13 lbs. too heavy...I was just making an objective verbal observation of the circumstances.)
Anyway...I don't know that this is very interesting for anyone...so I'll try to go back to sleep for a little while. Even 16 hours on a plane tonight will probably not provide much quality sleep time. :)

So much to do, so little time....

Well, in 26 days, we will be flying to Swaziland, Africa to be away from family, friends, and the United States for nearly 5 months. My emotions continually bounce back and forth between "I am so excited. This is going to be the most amazing trip of my life!" and "What on earth am I doing and is it too late to back out now?!?!?" I have also started having stressful dreams lately....one of them was about encountering giant, scary fish ... another was that our plane was about to leave and we were not packed at all. There was another one last night....but I can't remember it. I guess I just totally blocked it from my mind. :)
There is a lot to be done in the next 26 days--applications to complete, shots to receive, medications to gather, utilities to settle, renters to find, home to clear out, family and friends to visit, bags to pack, and probably a bunch of other things that I don't realize. That is not including all of the things to do at work!
However, despite all of the potential stressors, I have an overwhelming peace about our trip. This path has been clearly paved for us and we continue to receive all that we need for it to be accomplished. Some people might say that Providence is at work, I know that God is preparing the way. This comfort is much stronger than any fears about giant fish.